First read a commentary based on Claire Tomalin's The Unequalled Self

Secretive Passages in Chronological Order

In cooperation with my colleague Prizzlesprung, who is sifting the Diary again for secretive passages, we present the following:

September 4, 1660 |

January 16, 1664 | December 15, 1664 | December 19, 1664 | December 20, 1664

January 2, 1665 | January 23, 1665 | January 27, 1665 | February 20, 1665 | February 21, 1665 | May 15, 1665 | June 20, 1665 | July 3, 1665 | July 19, 1665 | August 6, 1665 | August 8, 1665 | August 11, 1665 | August 12, 1665 | August 22, 1665 | August 23, 1665 | October 5, 1665 | November 26, 1665 | December 4, 1665 | December 16,1665 |

| 1666 | 1667 | 1668 |

• September 4, 1660
“…. From thence to the Axeyard to my house; where I find standing at the door, Mrs. Diana comes by, whom I took into my house upstairs and there did dally with her a great while, and find in Latin “nulla puella negat.”
Footnote 3 says “Probably Diana Crisp”. We translate “nulla puella negat.” as "the girl refused nothing"

• On January 16, 1664, among other more ordinary matters, Pepys tells us:
“…. He being gone, I by water to Westminster-hall and there did see Mrs. Lane, and de la, elle and I to a cabaret at the Cloche in the street du roy; and there, after some caresses, je l’ay foutee sous de la chaise deux times [I f**ked her twice under the chair], and the last to my great pleasure: mais j’ai grand peur que je l’ay fait faire aussi elle meme [but I greatly fear that I made her do it herself it as well (implying he feared he made her come - and regretted it - perhaps fearing that, having "pleasured" her, she would become "clingy")]. Mais after I had done, elle commencait parler [began talking] as before and I did perceive that je n’avais fait rein de danger a elle [I had done her nothing which might be dangerous]. Et avec ca, [with that] I came away; and though I did make grand promises a la contraire, nonobstant je ne la verrai pas long time [although I did make great promises to the contrary, notwithstanding/nonetheless I will not see her for a long time]. So by coach home and to my office, where Browne of the Minerys brought me an instrument made of a Spyrall line, very pretty for all Questions in Arithmetique almost. But it must be some use that must make perfect in it.
“So home to bed-with my mind un peu trouble pour ce que j’ai fait today [my mind a little troubled by what I've done today]. But I hope it will be la derniere de toute ma vie.[the last time in my life] ”

• December 15, 1664 (apparently concerning Mrs. Bagwell)
“…. He being gone, I abroad to the carriers to see some things sent away to my father against Christmas; and I thence to Moorefields, and there up and down to several houses to drink, to look for a place pour rancontrer la femme de je sais quoy [to meet that woman] against next Monday, but never could meet none; but so to the Coffee-house, where great talk of the Comett seen several places and among our men at sea and by my Lord Sandwich, to whom I intend to write about it tonight.”

• December 19, 1664
“…. Thence home and not finding Bagwell’s wife as I expected, I to the Change and there walked up and down, and then home; and she being come, I bid her go and stay at Mooregate for me; and after going up to my wife (whose eye is very bad, but she in a very good temper to me); and after dinner, I to go to the place and walked around the fields again and again; but not finding her, I to the Change and there found her waiting for me and took her away and to an alehouse, and there made much of her; and then away thence and to another, and I endeavored to caress her; but elle ne vouloit pas, [but she would not] which did vex me but I think it was chiefly not having a good easy place to do it upon. So we broke up and parted; and I to my office, where we sat hiring of ships an hour or two; and then to my office and thence (with Captain Taylor home <to my house>) to give him instructions and some notice of what, to his satisfaction, had happened today-which I do because I hope his coming into this office will a little cross Sir W. Batten and may do me good. He gone, I to supper with my wife, very pleasant; and then a little to my office and to bed – my mind God forgive me, too much running upon what I can faire avec la femme de Bagwell demain [what I can do with Bagwell's wife tomorrow] – having promised to go to Deptford and a aller a sa maison avec son mari [to go to her house with her husband] when I come thither.”

• December 20, 1664
“Up and walked to Deptford, where after doing something at the yard, I walked, without being observed, with Bagwell home to his house and there very kindly used, and the poor people did get a dinner for me in their fashion – of which I also eat very well. After dinner I found occasion of sending him abroad; and then alone avec elle je tentoy a faire ce que je voudrais, et contre sa force je la faisoy, bien que pas a mon contentment. [alone with her I tried to do what I wanted, and against her struggles I did it, though not to my satisfaction] By and by, he coming back again, I took leave and walked home; and then to dinner, where Dr. Fayrbrother came to see me, and Luellin; we dined, and I to the office, leaving them – where we sat all the afternoon, and I late at the office. To supper and to the office again very late; then home to bed.”

• January 2, 1665
Then to the hall, and there agreed with Mrs. Martin, and to her lodgings which she hath now taken to lie in, in Bow streete – pitiful poor things, yet she thinks them pretty; and so they are for her condition I believe, good enough. Here I did ce que je voudrais avec her most freely [I did what I wanted with her]; and it having cost me 2s in wine and cake upon her, I away, sick of her impudence – and by coach to my Lord Brunkers by appointment, in the piazza in Covent-Guarding – where I occasioned much mirth with a ballet I brought with me, made from seamen at sea to their ladies in town – saying Sir William Pen, Sir G Ascue, and Sir J Lawson made them.

• January 23, 1665
Thence to Jervas’s, my mind, God forgive me, running too much after sa fille, but elle not being within, I away my coach to the Change – and thence home to dinner; and finding Mrs. Bagwell waiting at the office after dinner, away elle and I to a cabaret where elle and I have ete before; and there I had her company toute l’apres-dinner and had mon plaisir of elle [had her company for the whole evening and had my pleasure of her]– but strange to see how a woman, notwithstanding her greatest pretenses of love a son mari and religion, may be vaincue.[love for her husband and religion, may be conquered].

• January 27, 1665
And he gone, I made me ready and find Jane Welsh, Mr. Jervas maid, come to tell me that she was gone from her master and is resolved to stick to this sweetheart of hers, one Harbing (a very sorry little fellow, and poor); which I did in a word or two endeavour to dissuade her from. But being unwilling to keep her long at my house, I sent her away and by and by fallowed her to the Exchange, and thence led her about and down to the Three Cranes, and there took boat for the Falcon and at a house going into the fields there, took up and sat an hour or two talking and discoursing and faisant ce que je voudrais quant a la toucher [ doing what I wanted by touching her]; but she would not laisser me faire me l’autre thing [but she would not let me do the other thing], though I did what I pouvais to have got her a me le lassier [though I did what I could to have got her to allow me it]."lassier" is here read as a mistranscription - either Pepys' or the editors' - for "laisser" - which Pepys' French knows - "lassier" has no other clear alternate meaning] But I did enough to faire grand plaisir a moy-meme [I did enough to pleasure myself greatly]"

• February 20, 1665
Thence to the office and found Bagwells wife, whom I directed to go home and I would do her business; which was to write a letter to my Lord Sandwich for her husband’s advance into a better ship as there should be occasion – which I did; and by and by did go down by water to Deptford yard, and then down further and so landed at the lower end of the town; and it being dark, did privately enter en la maison de la femme Bagwell, and there I had sa compagnie, though with a great difficulty; neanmoins, enfin je avais ma volonte [eventually I had my way] it being now near 9 a-clock; and there I did drink some strong waters and eat some bread and cheese, and so go home – where at my office, my wife comes and tells me that she hath hired a chamber-maid, one of the prettiest maids that ever she saw in her life, and that she is really jealous of me for her – but hath ventured to hire her from month to month.

• February 21, 1665
Up, and to the office (having a mighty pain my forefinger of my left hand, from a strain that it received last night in struggling avec la femme que je mentioned yesterday), where busy till noon; and then, my wife being busy in going with her woman to a hot-house to bath herself, after her long being within doors in the dirt, so that she now pretends to a resolution of being hereafter very clean – how long it will hold, I can guess – I dined with Sir W. Batten and my Lady, they being nowadays very fond of me.

• May 15, 1665
Thence to the Swan at Herbert’s, and there the company of Sarah a little while; and so away and called at the Harp-and-Ball, where the maid, Mary, is very formosa (beautiful); but Lord, to see in what readiness I am, upon the expiring of my vowes this day, to begin to run into all my pleasures and neglect of business.

• June 20, 1665
Thence after dinner I to White-hall with Sir W Berkely in his coach. And so I walked to Herberts and there spent a little time avec la mosa, sin hazer algo con ella que kiss and tocar ses mamelles, que me haza hazer la cosa a mi mismo con gran plaisir. [spent a little time with the beautiful one, without doing anything with her other than kiss and touch her breasts which made me do the thing to myself (masturbate) with great pleasure] Thence to Fox hall, and there walked an hour alone, observing the several humours of the citizens that were there this holiday, pulling of cherries and God knows what.
[footnote 2 says, “Sarah Udall. Herbert kept the Swan in New Palace Yard”]

• July 3, 1665
Up, and by water with Sir W. Batten and Sir J. Mennes by water to Whitehall to the Duke of Albemarles, where, after a little business – we parted, and I to the Harp and Ball and there stayed a while talking with Mary, and so home to dinner; after dinner to the Duke of Albemarles again, and so to the Swan and there demeurais un peu de temps con la fille. And so to the Harp and Ball and alone demeurais u peu de temps besandola; and so away home and late at the office about letters; and so home, resolving from this night forward to close all my letters if possible and end all my business at the office by daylight, and I shall go near to it and put all my affairs in the world in good order, the season growing so sickly that it is much to be feared how a man can scape having a share with others in it – for which the good Lord God bless me or to be fitted to receive it.”

• July 19, 1665
To supper, and after supper to talk without end. Very late, I went away, it raining, but I had un design pour aller a la femme de Bagwell; and did so, mais ne savais obtener algun cosa de ella como jo quisiere sino tocar la. (I had a fancy to go and see Bagwell's wife; and did so, but did not manage to get quite what I wanted [from her], other than to touch her) So away about 12; and it raining hard, I back to Sir G. Carteret, and there called up the page and to bed there – being all in a most violent sweat.

• August 6, 1665

Lords day. And dressed and had my head combed by my little girle, to whom I confess que je sum demasiado kind, nuper ponendo saepe mes mains in su dos choses de son breast. Mais il faut que je leave it, lest it bring me to alguno major inconvenience.(but I had to stop it lest it bring me to some major inconvenience)
[footnote 1 says “Susan”]

• August 8, 1665
And after dinner Bagwell’s wife waited at the door, and went with me to my office, en lequel jo haze todo which I had a corason a hazer con ella. (where I did that which my heart longed to do with her) So parted and I to Sir W. Batten’s and there sat most of the afternoon, talking and drinking too much with my Lord Bruncker, Sir G. Smith, G Cocke, and others, very merry.

• August 11, 1665
Only in the morning a pleasant rancontre (chance meeting) happened, in having a young married woman brought me by her father, old Delkes, that carries pins alway in his mouth, to get her husband off, that he should not go to sea. Uno ombre pouvait avoir done an cosa cum ella, but I did natha sino besar her.[A man could have done a thing with her, but I did nothing except kiss her]  And after they were gone, my mind run upon having them called back again; and I sent a messenger to Blackewall but he failed, so I lost my expectation.

• August 12, 1665
Coming back to Deptford, old Bagwell walked a little way with me and would have me in to this daughter’s; and there, he being gone dehors (out), ego had my volunte de su hija. (I had my way with his daughter) Eat and drank, and away home; and after a little at the office, to my chamber to put more things still in order, and late to bed.

• August 22, 1665
.... And after a good dinner and good discourse, he being a very good man, I think verily- we parted, and I to the King's yard, walked up and down, and by and by out at the back gate and there saw the Bagwells wifes, mother and daughter, and went to them; and went in to the daughter's house without the mother and faciebam la cosa que ego tenebam a mind to con ella (I did whatever I wanted to with her)- and drinking and talking: by and by away, and so walked to Redriffe, troubled to go through the little lane where the plague is; but did, and took water and home - where all well...
[Latin: faciebam= was doing; tenebam=I understood]

• August 23, 1665
After he was gone, come, by a practice of mine yesterday, old Delkes the waterman with his daughter Robins, and several times to and again, he leaving her with me – about getting of his son Robins off, who was pressed yesterday again. And jo haze ella mettre su mano upon my pragma hasta hazerme hazer la costa in su mano. ["And I made her put her hand on my thing until she made me do the thing in her hand." NB if "costa" is not an error for "cosa", this could be translated as "get to the brink" - literally "coast")] Pero ella no voulut permettre que je ponebam meam manum a ella [but she would not let me put my hand to her], but I do not doubt but de obtenir le. …[I do not doubt but another time I will get it]”

• October 5, 1665

“So I walked through Westminster to my old house, the Swan, and there did pass some time with Sarah; and so down by water to Deptford and there to my Valentine’s; round about and next door on every side is the plague, but I did not value it but there did what I would con ella (with her); and so away to Mr. Evelings to discourse of our confounded business of prisoners and sick and wounded seamen, wherein he and we are so much put out of order. ….”
a footnote identifies the “Valentine” as Mrs. Bagwell

• November 26, 1665
A visit to Mrs. Pennington’s
“…. And Cock being sleepy, he went away betimes; I stayed alone, talking and playing with her till past midnight – she suffering me a hazer whatever ego voulus avec ses mamelles (to do whatever I wanted with her breasts)– and I had almost lead her by discourse to make her tocar mi cosa naked, (touch my bare penis) which ella did presque (almost) and did not refuse. ….”

• December 4, 1665
“…. And after observing (God forgive me) one or two of my neighbor hermosa mohers come to town, which did please me very well, home to my house at the office, where my wife had got dinner for me.”
….
“So late by water home, taking a barrel of oysters with me; and at Greenwich went and sat with Madam Penington, con laquelle je faisais almost whatever je voudrais [with whom I did almost whatever I wanted] – con mi mano, sino tocar la chose meme [with my hand, other than touch the thing itself]; and I was very near it, and made her undress her head and set disheveled all night, sporting till two in the morning; and so away to my lodging, almost cloyed with this dalliance, and so to bed. ….”

• December 16, 1665
The woman who inspires Pepys in the boat is Betty Howlett
“… Thence back, and landing at the Old Swan and taking boat again at Billingsgate and setting ashore at home; and I, lying down close in my boat, and there, without use of my hand, had great pleasure, and the first time I did make trial of my strength of fancy of that kind without my hand, and had it complete avec la fille que I did see au-jour-dhuy in Westminster hall. .…”.
(he stimulated himself purely by his imagination and recollecting a girl he had seen that day)

| 1666 |

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